Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Parenting While In Transition (Blurb)

My family is in an odd place right now.  I have mentioned before that we are 'without' a home.  We are scrounging around those who care enough to take us in.  
Keeping a good hold on family is a Christ thing - so I decided to give myself a bit of an evaluation.

Did we do something wrong? Some things.. yes  Other things.. No

Are you sure you did not get kicked out? Of course not... we are totally awesome people and no one would ever kick us out of anything... 

Maybe you made a bad financial decision you are just not telling us about? who knows, we make them all the time, but it certainly had no bearing on this need

We moved out of the home we were renting for the past six years because they told us they wanted it on the market.  We had/have a house on the line and were/are just waiting on closing.  I have no need to go into the annoying-ness of dealing with loan companies and what such (especially because my wife is taking care of the brunt of it while I am at work), but one thing I have noticed and would like to give advice on ... is parenting while transitioning.  

These tips are based on our failures as well as successes.  Our initial projected time for being in another person's home was 10 days - it has been about 50 and we still have plenty to go because we are now at a 'Start from scratch' point.

What We Have Done Right:

'Freedom' Is good, but Never Free:

Be certain the hold onto certain rules and manners with your child/ren.  Go ahead and plan how to work within the home you are in to keep it clean and orderly.  It only takes one person not picking up after themselves to make a mess.  Work WITH your family and not against them in trying to keep the messes down.  

Plan Many Outings:

It is much easier to deal with a closed and cramped environment if you are away from it.  My wife has been queen of creating outings for the kids and the entire family - even on a tight budget. Check out this blog that she shared with a bunch of info that could help you do the same! Click HERE

Bring OUTSIDE toys:

This gives the kids a chance to be outside and play, as well as give those within the house a bit of calm every once and a while.  (a pool is included in this - and has been a lifesaver for kid enjoyment I would even recommend just buying one if you are in this kind of situation in the summer) 

What We Have Done Wrong:

Pack plenty of toys for the kids:
If your kids are like ours they may have attachments to certain toys.  We were sure to get the MOST important, but left many in the storage building, which will make for interesting house warming gifts as the kids get toys they already owned back.  We have since bought new toys so that they have had something to play with besides just sitting and watching television. 

If you had a routine before, stick with it: 

Planning for a 10 day semi-vacation we threw out our daily routines.  At least the one I am much a part of.  Bed time. In our home we would read to the kids and pray with them.  I am positive that there was no wisdom in stopping this and plan to turn this around tonight. (this is being written a week before posted - so ask me how it is going ;) ) (as far as editing this Monday, I still have not turned this around)

Set a rock solid budget: 

The plan was to move in somewhere with minimum costs so that funds could accumulate and we could have plenty of money come closing so we would not need to borrow any.  Hopefully we are not doing too bad with this, but it is quite hard to not see something you, the kids, or the wife might want and just go ahead and purchase it.  A set amount to spend per week would be a great way to minimize the amount of funds spent.

Final Thoughts:

Be Flexible:

It is quite easy to feel defeated and 'picked on' when things do not seem to be going the way you would like.  If you go ahead and set your mind to the possibility of change, especially understanding that you likely CANNOT guess what will happen, then you will have a much easier time if things just start going in crazy routes that you never expected.  

Keep a Positive Attitude:

Your kids are watching you, and everything you are doing.  If you begin to get in the dumps and upset all the time, they are going to feed off of it and be right there with you - likely just making you feel worse.  If you can keep a positive outlook and attitude through it all, they will as well - and they may even encourage you! 

While it has been annoying and unexpected dealing with what we have, I believe we have been doing these things quite well.  

Any other thoughts? Additions - something I added sound like a bad idea to you?  


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