Finding Fault - Dealing with the issue of Love and Marriage (Blurb)

 

Today IS Valentine's Day.  I decided that the best blurb for that would to be to compose a sonnet.  Then I realized..  I am not certain as to how to do that.. so instead.. I will Blurb.. about Love.. Marriage.. and a baby carriage! 

I want to stand with my wife today - she has been having a hard time seeing relationships around her fall to the ground like a Jenga game that my kids are playing.. not really trying to keep it from falling, but seemingly looking for the best opportunity to shove or tip the scale for failure. 

Her first post on this : http://shutterbugandmommylove.blogspot.com/2011/12/just-some-sentences.html

Her second : http://shutterbugandmommylove.blogspot.com/2012/01/bride-and-groom.html

 I am not going to assume I know and understand all 'situations' but .. In my own way ...  I am going to tell you what I think.

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What kind of person are you?  

Imagine with me.. You walk into a room in your home - and you notice that the door is falling off the hinges.  Do you go grab a screw driver and start fixing it - or do start complaining to anyone and everyone about your problematic door that just won't stay on the door frame properly.  

There was once a time that I was walking through the church I attended and noticed that in the balcony .. there was an area, well two areas that kids could fall into and be stuck.  My daughter was young at that time and it was entirely possible that she may wander up there and step just a little too close to this and fall in.  So I did something about it.

I went to my pastor and told him about a problem I found.  Nothing was done about it.  I would go up there over and over to see if anything was done.  Nope.  Not one time did I go up there and find that the problem was fixed... and I did my job - I was just waiting on the fix.... so our children could be safe. Hurfph!  This guy does not care about kids.. he must want them to fall into this dangerous hole... 

Enough of that.. all reading this should understand that I could very well have moved to fix this problem myself - if I really felt that it endangered anyone I would have had the drive MYSELF and fixed it.  (I am quite certain that it has been resolved as of now) I did have justification though.. I believed that because I was only a member.. I did not need to do that kind of thing.. and as well I told myself that I did not really know much of what I was doing and could make things worse.  All good thoughts, but all with simple solutions.

I am not sure how long ago that was, but I know that since then I have found things in my home that need repair.. and I do the repairs.. as well there have been things that I NEVER knew needed repair and realized later that MY WIFE took care of them.

When a problem comes up - how do you deal with it.  In a work situation we have problems come up all the time.  fyi .. I draw and design these in 3d and 2d.  

When a problem pops up, it can be as simple as something being off by 1/2 an inch or it can be that we just made three complete conveyors when we actually needed one plate.  All it takes in both situations is for ONE number to be off.  Mistakes WILL be made, but I have a boss that instead of grilling me with the mistake I made.. he tells me what is wrong and works with me to create the solution.  I have had bosses that are nothing like this.  That any mistake is due to the character of the one making it.. and degrading them until they have no real drive for the work any longer.  I honestly prefer help over ridicule any day - even if it is a stupid mistake that I should have caught.  As much as I enjoy this type of action to my mistakes, I do not perform that well when I feel the mistake is against me.. and made by my wife.  

I return to the analogy of the house.  If you were to begin to see the foundation cracking - would you run around and cry that the sky is falling, or instead would you move to action; doing all that you could to fill in the gaps and salvage the problem.  There is of course another option.. one that I believe is the one usually taken by most people... ignore it.

We think because there are things in our relationships that we do not like and are able to not let it bother us.. then we are somehow greater.. and wiser because of it.  Truth is.. if it bothers you.. even a little.. IT WILL CAUSE strife and division.  

If you see fault in your significant other.. which option is best?  Freaking out... Filling in the faults and doing the best you can for them... or ignoring them....

If your wife does not enjoy doing the dishes.. do the dishes for them.  If you are constantly seeing something that is not getting done .. that you think should be done by your spouse.. do it yourself.. AND ENJOY IT!  God brought you two together for a reason.  I constantly see where my failures begin coincides with where my wife's victories are.  When I am lost .. she is not.. when she is lost.. I am not.  God paired us for a purpose.  Those strengths being different could separate us if we only look at it as " I am good at this.. so they should be too " .. That is one INSANE way of thinking.. Celebrate the fact that you have someone that lifts you where you fall.. and that you can do the same for them.  Being perfect for one another does not mean you are perfect... just that ... YOU CAN BE!! 

Melanie.. I love you - and thank you for being who you are.. no matter what that means I need to do.. I am here for you! 

now watch this card trick.. even if you THINK you have seen it before:

 

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