52 Reasons - FINAL THOUGHTS

I cannot help but smile every time I think of the gift my wife gave me this valentines day.  

Take a look at the full story by clicking this link .. starting at the beginning and reading all 52! 

And now that you are back.. because you of course did what I asked .. I will now discuss why I truly enjoyed this gift. 

Much of my thought initially as I read through them was how I must be doing an amazing job as a husband.  I know I may have said differently in the posts, but that is because while in the act of writing about them I realized what this gift really is.  A road map.. A cheat sheet, if you will, to what makes my wife be in love with me.  

These were all things, yes, I have done in the past, but the real question is.. am I still doing them?  Do I still treat her in these ways?  Do I really have a passion for pursuing my wife in a loving and caring fashion.. or have a begun to take her, and my kids for granted.  

I thought when I decided to write about these reasons I would be giving a gift to my wife (which I do believe I did), but really... I understand it was really.. still part of the original gift.  I learned about my wife.. I learned about myself.. Our relationship grew in a new way - a better way.  

When looking for the reasons you love someone.. the past does matter, and when you tell them those reasons - they may understand they are lacking in those areas in the present.  You may.. possibly.. end up with a better 'help mate' thorough the process! 

I pray and lift up the relationship of any reading this - as well those that are not, just because I believe in the awesome power of love when emanating from Christ!  Let us be exemplary examples of God's grace and love.. and inspire that in others! amen! 

 

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52 Reasons : FIFTY_TWO : You Love Me Just The Way I Am

"You Love Me Just The Way I Am"

I do ... I really do.. it is the one thing that I have wanted for a very long time.. You to be happy with you - and I just had to realize that I needed to be  totally and completely in love with who you are.. right NOW and not who you could be.. or was in the past.  

You are amazing and I know that I could never make it though the things I have needed to... and will face in the future without your love and encouragement.  You have always loved me so very well.. so very unconditionally and I learn from you, the best way to love you.  Thank you for being so awesome!

 

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52 Reasons : FIFTY_ONE : You're A Great Listener

 

"You're A Great Listener"

...unless a television is on... then I am......

...

...

...

distracted...  I can even be reading a book or ... doing many things really.. and I will hear NOTHING that is said. I know that this is frustrating to my wife, and as well.. it is to me.  

A really weird thing is that if I am doing some activity (watching, reading, crafting) and Melanie or one of my kids is talking to someone else... I CANNOT concentrate on what I am doing.  I miss something in the show.. I realize that the scene and characters and changed in the book without me realizing it.. or my craft has become an explosion aftermath.

It seems that ignoring those around me does not really pay off in the end.  I am doing what I can to stop what I am doing for the attention of those I love instead of doing 'what I want...when I want'

 Reason FIFTY TWO ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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52 Reasons : FIFTY : You Still Kiss Me Passionately

 

"You Still Kiss Me Passionately"

This.. I enjoy myself .. much so!  If I ever am not enjoying this activity with my wife.. there is something very wrong and I pray that I will realize the problem and move back into true and pure love with my wife. 

I find that Mel's passion for me is directly connected to mine for her.  A kiss can be four wet lips pressing together.. or a transference of passionate acceptance and affection.  Test this with your spouse - if it is not up to the standard you wish it to be.. practice it more!

Reason FIFTY_ONE

 

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52 Reasons : FORTY_NINE : I Am A Priority

"I Am A Priority"

It is one thing to say that something is priority... it is entirely another to actually live out priorities.  

Bill Cosby has a pretty funny take on this .. He talks about being on an airplane and how he speaks his mind - as well he speaks about how he would like to honestly know if the plane is going to crash... so he can freak out properly.  He then leads into saying how he would NOT be thinking of his wife and daughters... instead he comically said he would be thinking "WHY MEEEEE!"

Yeah.. it is funny.. and I thank Pandora for the chance to listen and enjoy it, but it really does capture a truth ... we may have spoken priorities.. as well as true ones that come out in times, such as an emergency. 

I believe that in order to make the things that we KNOW need to be priorities.. we have to practice putting those things in that place.  If we can do it in small matters.. we will certainly do it in the large ones (Biblical.. I know)  

I am practicing .. and trying to get better at placing my wife and kids at a higher priority.. and I encourage you in the same! 

 

 Reason FIFTY~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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52 Reasons : FORTY_EIGHT : You Love Sharing Jesus With Others

"You Love Sharing Jesus With Others"

Sharing is something we do the best we can to teach our children to do.  The best thing about sharing Jesus with another - is knowing that we can never run out of Him.  

The problem that I have much of the time is that I feel more inclined to share when I have the 'force field' of leadership hoisted onto me.  I have no idea how odd this may seem, but I know that I would like to be more inclined to do it at ANY time.  I have inspirations that are pushing me in this direction, but I can be such a chicken.

Melanie has always reached out in ways that I never could.  I am glad for that and that God has guided us together.  We work well together in sharing Jesus.... and I plan on doing it .. for as long as God grants me life on this earth.

Reason FORTY_NINE

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52 Reasons : FORTY_SEVEN : The Turkey Dances In September

"The Turkey Dances In September"

This one is old... I was living in Auburn and she will still living in Montgomery, about 45 minutes away.  She would visit me more than I would visit her, but there were times I made the drive.  When I did I needed music, but had no radio to do this with. 

My Solution : Make Up Songs

One such song I made up was called.. or is called.. or forever will be called "The Turkey Dances In September" ... my mind is a maze of insanity and pure genius.. someday.. I will be able to tap into the genius...

This song was about a turkey that was being fed much because of it's unknowing impending doom to happen in November.  The song ended on the note that its cousin would be eaten in December. 

I had forty-five minutes ... so plenty of time to create and sing a song with ... way too many verses that of course.. I could never remember them all. 

I sang an abridged version to her ... and she knew I was crazy .. and that she should most certainly marry me (probably).  

 

Reason FORTY_EIGHT ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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52 Reasons : FORTY_SIX : You Make Me Feel Special

"You Make Me Feel Special"

I have a magic power.. I can look at my wife.. and make her feel things.. fear, love, strength, encouragement, and special...

I like that I make her feel special.. She certainly does that for me... and ... I will tell you a secret - she is special without me.. I am just the telescope she needs to see it.  I almost typed microscope, but that would infer her 'specialness' is small - and that is not true.. it is too big for her to understand.  She needed an instrument developed by God to be able to see it .. and pass the information on to her.  She was given a husband to do this.  

If she does not feel this way - I have failed.  I should always be able to better her day.  I don't.. I know that I don't, but I want to - and pray that I can.  

 

Reason FORTY_SEVEN ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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52 Reasons : FORTY_FIVE : Moon Pies & Chicken For Desert

"Moon Pies & Chicken For Desert"

No - I do not eat moon pies.. I do not really find them very delicious.. my wife may disagree... and as well.. I have never had chicken for desert.  My wonderful wife is talking about this post she made on facebook during a private conversation between me and her near the valentines holiday.
 

Fun.. yep.. fun.

I was terrified when I saw that she posted it so everyone could see it.  I was just being silly with my wife, but in the end.. it inspired smiles, laughs, and maybe even some silly flirting between loved ones somewhere else I do not even know about.

I think Mel covered it quite well in her comment - "He's just in love" :)

Reason FORTY_SIX

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52 Reasons : FORTY_FOUR : You Respect Me

"You Respect Me"

Respect is something that I learned .. is earned .. but most of the time.. at least I have found.. by giving it.  Christ's example to us is that as our head .. he would act as our servant. I try to practice this everyday. I am not the best...really.. I doubt I am even near the bottom rung.  I enjoy serving others .. it is what I feel that a true leader will do.. put others before themselves.

Respect... much the same - you place another above yourself - you acknowledge that as fact.. live it.  When it is done right.. all in the situation are respected properly and the 'workflow' is smooth. If you respect the other person you will not be offended - and when you feel like you maybe should be offended - you will ask about it, instead of going for the throat.

I find that when I love my wife the way that Christ loves the church.. ie willing to give up everything to make 'it better' even when I feel that she is the one in the wrong. I don't find it weak - I don't find it overbearing - I find it  a bonding of us together .. growing in Christ .. mistake after mistake.

Reason FORTY_FIVE

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52 Reasons : FORTY_THREE : Kisses @ Stop Signs

"Kisses @ Stop Signs"

One day - My girlfriend and I stopped at a stop sign.  I decided to wait... to wait until she gave me the kiss I was demanding with the body language of kissy face puckered lips. It took a minute for understanding to come to her - but when it did... I got my kiss.  As well... we created a tradition.  

Sometimes that is all it takes.. no planning - no elaborate means or special date .. just a beautiful girl and a stop sign. Don't set out to force moments in your life - let them happen ... grasp them by the hand and share them often with those you love! 

Reason FORTY_FOUR

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52 Reasons : FORTY_TWO : You Are Patient With Me (Most of The Time)

"You Are Patient With Me (Most of The Time)"

God has been dealing with my patience for a long time, and likely it is one of the biggest things that He works on me about.  Why.. because I have anger problems... patience .. is a proved solution in my life.. to anger issues.  In learning to deal with them.. I learn how to deal with anger.. with so.. many things as well.  Check out the comment here from Matthias about prison experience. ... If learning about patience is a cure.. maybe it really is something we should be looking into.

I believe that this little thing is something that will either make or break a marriage.  Can you help out your love? .. will you force your will upon them? .. Will you give them the chance to learn and understand themselves?.. Patience is the thing that will make it possible to get to know one another properly.

Reason FORTY_THREE

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52 Reasons : FORTY_ONE : Gnomes

"Gnomes"

I may have and am still.. too excited about the gnoming 'game' that my friends and I play.  Actually.. we may all be a little too excited.. although.. I am the one that created a facebook page for the activity HERE : https://www.facebook.com/pages/I-Just-Got-Gnomed/311411812205382 . 

For one thing - it has lived up going shopping with my family.  If we find ANYTHING that has gnomes we try to figure out the best way to use them.  I have found this to be one of the very fun things I can do with my wife.  Even though it is silly and holds loose meaning.. it brings us closer.. as well it bring s our friendships closer .. when they find a gnome and the question gets asked "What is the deal with the Gnomes?" 

I get a chance to explain on of the weirdest things that me and friends do ... and am excited about.. so .. there is good chance this person now knows how crazy I am.  

If you decide that you would like to join the gnoming community .. check out the facebook page linked to above.  Learn the basic rules.. start gnoming your friends.. and grow closer.. you can even attach scriptures to your gnomes to help with bible reading.. and such! 

 

Reason FORTY_TWO ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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52 Reasons : FORTY : You Speak Boldly And Passionately

"You Speak Boldly And Passionately"

I like to talk...  I used to not talk that much.. and as well.. there are times that I do not feel inclined to talk.  Likely if you know me.. you know I like to talk.. and if you do not know this.. a subject that I understand has never been brought forth with me around.

When I talk.. when I speak - I like to be sure of myself.  If I do not know something - I will tell you assuredly that I do not know.  If I am about to make something up - you will know it.  If I believe that I know what I am talking about.. I can be a jerk about it.. but will search later to be sure that I was right (or find out that I was wrong and will go through the process of apologizing about my jerkyness)

When I read this I know that.. my wife is NOT talking about that.  She is talking about when I am talking about God, when the Holy Spirit comes over me and speaks through me.  I like to think I am a fairly intelligent person, but know that I am clueless on some many levels with so..very many things.  

When I speak, or write about God.. or about the bible.. or just about life - I find that I may say/type things that are far more intelligent than I ever thought I would be able to produce. As well - I find myself more articulate (though others may disagree.. I am not sure) .. as well ... bold ... and passionate!

I found that giving what I say to God... meditating on my thoughts long before I speak, God can work.. and speak through me properly.  I am not the best of example all of the time.. and I am working to give God  my tongue all the time... pray for me. 

Reason FORTY_ONE

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52 Reasons : THIRTY_NINE : You Give Freely

"You Give Freely"

I like my stuff.. I feel better when I buy things.. when I get a new little 'toy' that can do something cool.  Sometimes I use it as therapy .. and it can hurt the checkbook, but.. I am not in denial .. I do my best to know it is a problem and be proactive about it.  

I have a jacket that Melanie gave me that I really, really wanted but when a guy told me it was a nice looking jacket.. and looked real warm.. I asked.. if he needed a jacket as I took it off.  He turned it down.

I did it again with a hoody that my mother gave me for Christmas .. there was a guy that seemed to not have a jacket .. so I offered it.. he took it .. and then lost it in just a few days.  

I have a standing rule about loose change in my pockets.. well.. the rule is still there if I am sitting, but I am not going to tell you the rule.. it is between me and God (I reserve the right that I may have told you before.. or may tell you in the future.. it is not exclusive to me and God.. He just knows about it.. and calls me to it .. ever so often)

I like giving.. it feels good .. to be able to give .. and not expect back..  I know that I NEED people like that in my life at times.. so .. as the golden rules asks.. I do unto others.. 

And if you may be wondering.. Melanie is .. OH SO MUCH BETTER AT IT THAN ME!! She inspires me.. and I have other friends that do as well.. all better at it than me.. :)  Give to someone today.. and expect nothing back.. you WILL NOT REGRET IT!!! 

Reason FORTY

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52 Reasons : THIRTY_EIGHT : Lizards, Especially In Shoes

"Lizards, Especially In Shoes"

I always find this one funny! 

Again.. when we met we were dating other people.. BUT we all did something on that date.  We went into an old navy and bought some plastic lizards from a quarter machine.  I took two of the ones that I had and shoved them into the laces of my shoes.  They stayed that way for years. ... they were my lizard shoes.  

Before Mel and I were together she made a joke/jib about the lizard shoes saying "When I get married you are going to have to wear those lizards in your shoes" .. I laughed and agreed while thinking what she would think if she knew that I would be marrying HER with lizards in my shoes.

Ah.. behold and it came to pass and we both knew that the promise was there.. so on our wedding day.. the lizards moved from the lizard shoes and took a ride in the rented shoes from Mens Warehouse while Melanie and I became one!  

yeah.. we are weird.. but.. hey.. at least we know it! 

Reason THIRTY_NINE

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52 Reasons : THIRTY_SEVEN : You Hold Me Close To You

"You Hold Me Close To You"

One of my favorite things.  Each time we have a kid I have another favorite thing.. and I have more chances to do it :) I enjoy receiving and giving love through an embrace.  

I am sure.. that with my wife.. it is more.. and long for the moments that we can be alone.. and just .. be together.  We often talk, but... being able to just quietly hold one another.. that is a thing of beauty! 

Reason THIRTY_EIGHT

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52 Reasons : THIRTY_SIX : You Cry At Movies

"You Cry At Movies"

I do.  Sometimes it is really odd, because I will cry during a movie.. or TV show but not at something that is actually happening to me.. or someone that I am close to.  I am not saying that I do not have empathy.. I do, but .. my heartstrings.. seem to be tougher when it is real.. odd.. I know

I cried when watching the Rugrats Movie .. when Tommy finally realizes that he loves his little brother, Dill.  I could relate to it.. it was something I felt often in my own life.  Interesting that I go from saying that I am tougher about my own life.. then give an example and I explain I cried because it relates to my life, BUT maybe that is how I deal.  I use movies to deal with that emotion... or they bring it out in me.  I love hope.. and cry when hope is being envisioned or birthing on the screen.. and in life.. really. 

I usually try to hide my crying.. it is just not manly.. right? .. anyway.. do you cry at the movies?.. or.. if not.. where/when do you cry?

Reason THIRTY_SEVEN

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